Insecure Little Bitch

Well hello blogger's life.

I'm now currently is a slave. Corporate slave to be exact.

Gila ya, those meetings, those reports, those alignment of matrix, those presentations, those revisions, those proposals, those budgeting and revisions are driving me crazy.

Boleh dibilang gue is a man with million skills but come on, doesn't mean that I have to do everything all by myself right ?

I speak up, a lot. The first raised was not satisfy enough for me, because I deserved beyond that. The promotion matrix is not fair too. And correct me if I'm wrong but typical of corporate with fat account is not suppose to treat their employee like this. Gue muak sama company gue sekarang ini. Gue give up. And how about Sansan ? Ya, kalau dia sih anteng-anteng aja. Walaupun the rumour says that the company wants to reduce an expatriate but he doesn't care. Kerja ya kerja, kalau pun dia di layoff ya bukan rejeki dia berarti. Duh alangkah mudahnya kalau gue bisa setenang and sesimple Sansan. GUE BUKAN TYPICAL ORANG KAYA BEGITU. YES, I'M NOT !!

Terus mau cari kerja ditempat lain ??

Susah coy, gue bukan local.

Terus mau resign ??

Gak mau balik Indo.

Lah, kalau gitu lu maunya gimana ??

Gue mau keadilan.

Hahaha, bukannya greedy or something but you should have know that I'm worth more that my pay check at the moment.

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Lagi mumet-mumetnya dama kerjaan, gue dikejutkan dengan tingkah laku aneh bin ajaibnya di Sansan. He sign up to Instagram !! Yes, to the world that he has never been before, a social media world. Duh kan gue takut laki gue diembat sama orang lain, especially cong lain. FYI - dunia cong itu kejamnya minta ampun. Lebih kejam dari dunia kerja gue sekarang ini. For instance, kemarin sore gue makan disalah satu resto low key daerah Bangsar South. Habis pulang kerja, Sansan ngajakin makan disana. Kebayang dong, abang-abang Jepang lucu dengan pakaian kerjanya yang udah kusut disana-sini jalan berdua nyebrang ke sebuah restaurant dengan sesosok lelaki kerempeng, muka cemberut karena baru kena marah sama manager regional gara-gara report yang dikirim gak pake diencrypt. Yup, those were us. Sesampainya di resto, I let Sansan order everything for me karena dia laper, kalau nunggu gue milih makanan bisa keburu tutup restonya. Kita duduk di smoking area, dengan pemandangan jalan raya dan kemacetan kota kercinta. Gak berapa lama makanan kita datang, a group of so called "gym rats" duduk dimeja sebelah kita. Badannya bagus-bagus, muka udah kaya gak ada pori-porinya, rambut klimis, lirik-lirik kearah meja gue. Of course gue tau mereka bukan ngelirikin gue, tapi ngelirikin si Sansan. Gue udah bete, tapi ya memang nasip punya pacar ganteng, mau diapain lagi. Sansan reaction ? Super cuek, gak peka dan cuma fokus sama makanannya. My reaction ? Pasang alis dua oktaf dari biasanya and trying super cool dengan sesekali mindahin potongan steak ke piringnya Sansan dan Sansan nurut-nurut aja sambil bingung, he never understand what's going on in the gay world. Then, what happens next was beyond my control, I can see one of them, smiling gently try to get Sansan's attention and Sansan dengan lugunya senyumin tu binan balik ! Duh, rasanya kaya dibejek-bejek deh hati Hayati ......

Bukan salah Sansan juga sih senyumin tu binan balik, I mean siapa tau they're just being nice to each other, yekaan ?? Tapi kenapa gue gak disenyumin juga ?? Oh yaudah deh, gue ngeluarin jurus andalan bikin bete si Sansan, dengan tidak menghabiskan makanan gue dan malah mainan handphone sambil membuka account Instagramnya Pascal.

S : Could you please continue to finished your dinner and stop playing with your phone ? (sambil nyita handphone gue yang sengaja gak gua lock so he would know that I'm opening Pascal's instagram). *Sansan eyes rolling*.

A : I'm full, you can finished it if you wanted and I'm pretty sure you can finished the "other people" too *sambil menekan nada terakhir dalam kata-kata gue*.

S : *Ngebalikin handphone gue* Go a head play with your phone, I'm gonna finished the food and we're going home.

I know gue salah, I mean, sometime the competitive behave that I have since I was born kills me. Gak seharusnya gue bikin bete Sansan, kan it's not his fault. He just being nice to other people. Cuma yang gue gak bisa tahan itu, karena kepolosan Sansan. Dia itu mangsa empuk untuk setiap pemburu. Muka cakep, badan fit, expatriate dan living his life on top, kerjaan bagus, dan yang orang-orang tau itu dia player karena sampai saat ini dia masih betah sendiri. Sedangkan gue ? Kerjaan sucks, muka paspasan, badan kerempeng, living under the shadows, ya paling banter kalau putus sama Sansan gue bakalan ngejomblo untuk waktu yang akan lama, karena after all. Pacaran sama straight guy is never been easy.

In the car on the way home, Sansan ngediemin gue. Kalau gue perhatiin, mukanya Sansan udah banyak kerutan disekitar mata sipitnya. Rambutnya sudah mulai ada rambut putihnya. Oh God !! I cant afford to lose him. I love this dude. So, gue tarik tangan kirinya dan gue cium.

Gue memulai percakapan ditengah-tengah macetnya ibu kota Malaysia ini, here is the thing, I was jealous of you. No one ever flirt with me before but seeing someone flirting on you it breaks my heart. I know, you're just trying to be nice. And I'm sorry for how I behave. I don't want you to change. I'm the one who needs to. Sansan cuma menghela napas. Mungkin dia fikir, "OMG WHY THIS BITCH NEEDS TO BE SO DRAMATIC AT THIS PEAK HOURS, I DONT NEED THIS BULLSHIT AT THIS MOMENT". Haha probably, I don't know what is in his mind.

Sesampainya dirumah, Sansan tetep ngediemin gue. Omg, this dude really know how to play victim on me. So, gue mengeluarkan jurus pamungkas untuk bikin bete Sansan ilang. It works everytime he mad, like literally every single time. Gue cium dibibirnya sampai dia ngeresponse menyambut ciuman gue. Sansan meluk gue sambil elus-elus kepala gue. Aroma badan Sansan somehow bikin gue relax. He doesnt need to say something but I know dia maafin gue.

And back to Instagram. Gue tau dia main instagram karna dia tiba-tiba nanya "do you want to be featured on my instagram ???" I was like - jaw dropping, surprised, happy, worry - Emmm no Thanks !

Haha kasian dia gue tolak mentah-mentah. Abisnya kan gue belum siap open public. Haha binan insecure. Udah ah, sekian dulu nyampahnya. I'll be back with more fun stories !!